Wednesday, September 22, 2010
A real catalyst for change
I'm sitting at my rediscovered favorite coffee shop: CupZ reflecting on the events of the past two weeks. How do I even begin to describe them...Weird, amazing, longing, distracting?
The story starts first or so week of school. I see this drop dead gorgeous tiny girl walk past me and I am just speechless. The last real approach I did was back in New York, its rainy right now i look like shit my hair is all over the place.. Whatever I move in.
"Excuse me you look absolutely incredible.. what's your name?"
Get the phone number walk away happy as ever. Ill post the text exchange that lead to the meetup
Fast forward 2 weeks later, we're hanging out, shes on my bed, I'm on her. Stuff that I think is just romantic that I've integrated into my normal behavior, she falls absolutely in love, I fall in love.
Love, what the fuck is it?
Is it a word, an emotional footprint, unreal? Maybe its all of them. What I had with Stephanie was one thing, what I had with Natalie was so fucking different.
Anyway pillow talk is a bitch. That's where everything comes out, life, emotions, raw intention. I dont know what caused me to be so vulnerable with Natalie. Maybe it was my dissatisfaction with Steph. Maybe it was something I needed to see, whether passion could really drive a relationship. Maybe Natalie really brought something out inside me that no one ever could. When it was all said and done, I think I got so used to seeing her every day that not seeing her for one day drove my world upside down.
I was listening to an interview series about "That special one." Don't allow this person to be your only source of endorphins. Jesus that has never been truer. The faster you let yourself go to love the faster you lose yourself.
So as it stands now, Natalie isn't texting me back. I got a we need to talk text from her today. I've spent the day being super happier, getting some free positivity from stretching, walking outside, doing a few bad approaches.
I'm prepared for the worst. But I'm hoping for the best... meaning her hormones are just fucking with her. Anyway, this part of my life needs extra reflection.
The story starts first or so week of school. I see this drop dead gorgeous tiny girl walk past me and I am just speechless. The last real approach I did was back in New York, its rainy right now i look like shit my hair is all over the place.. Whatever I move in.
"Excuse me you look absolutely incredible.. what's your name?"
Get the phone number walk away happy as ever. Ill post the text exchange that lead to the meetup
Fast forward 2 weeks later, we're hanging out, shes on my bed, I'm on her. Stuff that I think is just romantic that I've integrated into my normal behavior, she falls absolutely in love, I fall in love.
Love, what the fuck is it?
Is it a word, an emotional footprint, unreal? Maybe its all of them. What I had with Stephanie was one thing, what I had with Natalie was so fucking different.
Anyway pillow talk is a bitch. That's where everything comes out, life, emotions, raw intention. I dont know what caused me to be so vulnerable with Natalie. Maybe it was my dissatisfaction with Steph. Maybe it was something I needed to see, whether passion could really drive a relationship. Maybe Natalie really brought something out inside me that no one ever could. When it was all said and done, I think I got so used to seeing her every day that not seeing her for one day drove my world upside down.
I was listening to an interview series about "That special one." Don't allow this person to be your only source of endorphins. Jesus that has never been truer. The faster you let yourself go to love the faster you lose yourself.
So as it stands now, Natalie isn't texting me back. I got a we need to talk text from her today. I've spent the day being super happier, getting some free positivity from stretching, walking outside, doing a few bad approaches.
I'm prepared for the worst. But I'm hoping for the best... meaning her hormones are just fucking with her. Anyway, this part of my life needs extra reflection.
# posted by Prince Ali @ 3:26 PM 
