Sunday, March 07, 2010
Why
"Something happened with Adam tonight" she said
"What? Did you fuck him?" I asked half jokingly
"Yeah..."
My heart sank. Honestly it's never recovered since. I think that's why I'm still thinking about it tonight and thats why I'm just in a bad mood about everything.
I think I found something endearing about us not sleeping with other people. But the fact that she made the first move, the fact that she ended this reign of no condom use... I feel cheated on. I feel like our experiences together meant nothing. I still feel like they have little meaning no matter what we do together, no matter how deep the situation.
She has her options presented to her and I should respect that. It's the reality of the world we live in.
Maybe I'm a petty person but the fact that she finds sex uncomfortable with me now its really helping me see what I really want in a relationship. The fact that I feel like I'm doing so much for her and getting little in return is destroying me.
"I'm the kind of girl who just wants nice things"
"I think you realized you depend on me more than you think" BULLSHIT
God so much unidirectional dependency
I don't feel right in the relationship some days. At times, I feel like I entered into it in a moment of my own weakness.
"What? Did you fuck him?" I asked half jokingly
"Yeah..."
My heart sank. Honestly it's never recovered since. I think that's why I'm still thinking about it tonight and thats why I'm just in a bad mood about everything.
I think I found something endearing about us not sleeping with other people. But the fact that she made the first move, the fact that she ended this reign of no condom use... I feel cheated on. I feel like our experiences together meant nothing. I still feel like they have little meaning no matter what we do together, no matter how deep the situation.
She has her options presented to her and I should respect that. It's the reality of the world we live in.
Maybe I'm a petty person but the fact that she finds sex uncomfortable with me now its really helping me see what I really want in a relationship. The fact that I feel like I'm doing so much for her and getting little in return is destroying me.
"I'm the kind of girl who just wants nice things"
"I think you realized you depend on me more than you think" BULLSHIT
God so much unidirectional dependency
I don't feel right in the relationship some days. At times, I feel like I entered into it in a moment of my own weakness.
# posted by Prince Ali @ 9:52 PM 
