Prince Ali

Valentines day just came and passed. Haven't written about Stephanie in a while.

In the beginning, things are really simple. A casual relationship is simple. Just having the time to hang out with somebody is an appreciating factor in and of itself.

But what happens after time has passed and the relationship compounds? Then you can have a seemingly perfect valentines day only to have it ruined and have feelings hurt because maybe one thing isn't quite up to par with the rest of the day... or you kind of misplan things.

I've talked to Steph about the night. Maybe I could've cooked something new for sunday, and maybe I could have told her to have worn something warm and maybe I could have planned the rest of the night better. Jesus it was one hell of a leadup though. Probably one of the best days I have had in a long time. At least I have some feedback about the mechanics of the date.

I guess what gets lost in translation in the amount of perceived effort this date was composed of. She was looking for a traditional romantic event. I was happy with just her company.

Or maybe my theory on the subtext of our shitty week was in play. Maybe it was the conversation we had about money the night before. Maybe it was the fact that a condom got stuck inside of her. Maybe it was because I came inside her just before we left. Maybe I shouldn't have prefaced it with the fact that I didn't know how this night was going to be. Maybe I could've been a better leader.

Any of these things could have set the date off in the wrong foot to begin with. And now I'm simply finding that happiness comes at a price, and everything you do for her has meaning--sometimes good when you originally conjure it up, bad when it comes into play. I'm starting to have doubts about long term relationships, not Steph in particular.

I think I'm better at just appreciating the simple things and nothing but. Maybe I should get out of this relationship before one of us gets way too hurt.